Campus-Friendly Charoset (Alchohol Removed)

I'm not Jewish. Not in the least. So, what's a boy like me doing, making charoset?

I may not be Jewish, but I've been compared to a Jewish mother, fixing enough food to feed three families and trying to make sure everyone eats. For my film club, we were screening The Secrets (Ha-Sodot), so in order to have an appropriate snack, I decided to prepare some traditional Jewish food. As if I planned it this way, the movie fell during the week of Passover, so I figured something from the seder meal would be best. Lo and behold, charoset made the list.

But, problem! I can't serve anything with alcohol in it to an on campus club. So, this recipe calls for an alcohol-removed solution that ends up tasting fantastic. I don't even really like either apples or walnuts and I couldn't get enough of this.

NOTE: This may or may not be strictly kosher. I wasn't up to buying a Jewish wine, but I do end up boiling it. Depending on which set of rules are used, boiling the wine may make it acceptable, it may not be enough. When in doubt, alter the recipe to suit your needs.

Ingredients:

• 5 Fuji, Gala, or similarly tasting apples
• 1 1/4 cups of finely chopped walnut pieces
• 2 cups of port wine (or your choice of more kosher wines)
• 2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 5 teaspoons sugar
• Optional: lemon or lime juice
  

Procedure:

1. Put your wine in a small pot and bring up to a boil, letting it reduce by half (about 1 cup remaining).

2. Peel your apples. To keep them from browning, place the peeled apples in a bowl of water containing about a teaspoon of lemon or lime juice.

3.a. If you are working with a mandolin slicer: With a sharp knife, slice bands about a quarter of an inch thick all around the apple, not cutting all the way to the core. You should be making the cuts perpendicular to the core, so that it looks like a stack of apple slices held together by the core that you didn't cut through. With that done to all the apples, attach your thinnest julienning attachment onto the mandolin, and adjust the blade height to about a millimeter thick. Slice through all your apples, avoiding the core. Run a large chef's knife through the apple piles if you desire a finer cut. Remember to return each batch of cut apples to the lemon/lime water to keep them from browning up.

3.b. If you are working with a food processor: Core your apples and slice them to the size appropriate to fit in your machine. Pulse the apples until they resemble a minced texture, but don't make them into apple sauce.

3.c. If you don't have any fancy kitchen equipment: Find a friend. Block the door. Tell them they're helping you mince apples. Wait for them to stop trying to run away, then prepare to buckle down and mince all the apples as small as you can manage. About 1 millimeter all around should be small enough.

4. Pat down the cut apples with a paper towel to remove excess moisture. If you have a salad spinner, that'll also work.

5. Combine cut apples, walnuts, reduced wine, cinnamon, and sugar, adjusting the sugar and spice as you see fit.

And there you have it. Great by itself, on matzo, or on your choice of non-Passover foods. This recipe is actually surprisingly easy to do for such a delicious outcome. Well, I have a mandolin slicer, so if you're slicing by hand you might not agree with me on the "easy" part, but it's hard not to consider this tasty.

Side effect: Any space you cook or serve this in while it's still fresh will smell amazing.